Wake me up when winter ends (11/16 column)

As I’m sitting here trying to figure out what to write about this week, the radio keeps reminding me I should hurry up and get home before the snow. “Winter storm advisory,” it keeps saying. Someone should inform the National Weather Service it’s not winter yet so we can’t have a winter weather advisory. Don’t they know these things?

There’s not much I enjoy about winter, to be honest. Sure, I get a little thrill from the first snow, but that fades rather quickly.
There are a lot of winter activities I just don’t understand. Chiefly because I just don’t like to get cold. Take ice fishing for example. I do enjoy fishing. I even bought a fishing license last spring, although I haven’t found time to use it yet. It is a thrill to get a fish on the line, even if it is smaller than some minnows. But when I fish, I prefer to do it when it’s above 70 degrees outside and while wearing shorts. Not hunched over a tiny hole on a frozen lake while the snow swirls around me.

I went ice fishing for the first time last January. Although I knew the ice was plenty thick, I had white knuckles as we drove across the lake to the shack. The wood stove inside was a welcome addition, but I still felt a little claustrophobic inside there. The only fish I saw all day was a tiny little perch someone reeled in. Then it was a white knuckle ride all the way back to shore. I suppose it didn’t help much that I was afflicted with morning sickness, but I didn’t get much thrill from the experience. So if I’m invited to go this winter, I think I’ll stay in my nice, warm house.

Like most Wisconsinites, I hate everything about winter driving. From the spotty snow storms to the salt that corrodes my car, I could definitely do without the fluffy white stuff and slippery ice. I’m lucky enough to have an attached garage at home, so I’ll get out of scraping stubborn ice crusted on my windshield most of the season. But there’s no place to hide at work, so I’ll be sweeping and chipping along with everyone else at the end of the day.

I do like the holidays, but winter complicates my travel plans. From a short shopping trip to a weekend expedition to my parents’ house, you can never plan perfectly when Mother Nature is involved. It never fails; no matter where I go in the winter, be it five miles or 500 miles away, I get stuck in a snow storm. Last Christmas, Nate and I had a scary experience traveling three hours between holiday gatherings. It turned into a five hour trip since my car was fish-tailing and making a mad dash for the ditch anytime we relaxed for a moment. We did make it back unscathed, but we learned a valuable holiday travel lesson. This winter, we’re leaving the car at home and taking the truck. And now, I leave you all to make my way through this miniature blizzard. Wish me luck.