‘Tis the season of break ups, it seems. Not for me, but for plenty of other people I’m acquainted with. In the past month or so, three people I know of have been going through break ups. So far, none of the three are the nice, clean, we’ll-go-our-separate-ways-type of separations. Instead, it’s more of a small war raging between two people.
I’ve been on all sides of the break-up: the dumper, the dumpee, friend of one and friend in the middle. Of all, I liked friend caught in the middle least of all, even less than the one getting the boot. At least in that situation, you get over it and move on without much permanent damage. When caught in the middle, you’re almost guaranteed to lose one friend. Friend of one is the best place to be in a break up. It has the freedom of being able to take a side and freely express that without retribution. There’s nothing better than a good vent after a break up, and I’m happy to be the one to hear it (as long as it doesn’t drag on for months).
In all three recent situations, I got away easy as friend of one. After listening to all three, I think there should be rules of breaking up, so I’ve developed the nine commandments of the break up. And now, in no particular order, we'll reveal them:
Thou shalt know when to quit. Don’t drag out a relationship that’s bleeding to death because you think you might be able to revive it. Some things are just too far gone.
Thou shalt take time to mourn thy loss. When leaving a relationship, there’s lots of opportunity to catch up on the things you’ve been missing because of being in a couple. Some are just trouble waiting to happen. It’s OK not to be the first one to start dating again.
Thou shalt not take cheap shots at thy ex. It’s just petty and rude. If the ex has a secret he confided in you, keep it. And don’t make up lies, even if spreading rumors makes you feel better.
Thou shalt play fair. Similar to the last one, it means both should take time to mourn and abstain from immediately going into another’s arms just to hurt the other. And for heaven’s sake, don’t show up with new love in hand if you know the ex is going to be there.
Assets shall be divided civilly. In the case of the three break ups I was previously referring to, the couples were together for several years and living together. Separate personal items, then make a list of joint assets you would like. Have a neutral person help the two of you divide, if needed. Also, assets should be divided as soon as possible, not six months later.
Thou shalt resist temptation. This can be applied many places, but mostly stay off the phone. A fairly innocent call usually ends up more of a mess than anything. I think less contact is better.
Thou shalt not claim to stay friends. Face it, this never works.
Thou shalt find a distraction. Spend time with friends you’ve neglected, or find something completely new.
Thou shalt not go running back. A break up is a decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly. On again-off again is not healthy,
and playing yo-yo with someone’s heart is cruel.
So there you have it, and I hope none of you will have to use them.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Friday, October 13, 2006
No column, just photos
So, I didn't care much for a column I wrote last week, so instead here's cute pictures of Jake. Isn't the snow disgusting?
And in case you haven't seen it yet, the bath tub photo is Jake's evil, I'm-causing-trouble grin. Also, you'll notice a bite mark on his upper arm. He got chomped on at daycare again (this is the fifth time since Labor Day).
Monday, October 09, 2006
Sick, sick, sick
It happens every year. About three or four weeks into the school year, everyone starts getting sick. Why? Because that seems to be the right amount of time for all the germs to mingle, breed and contaminate new hosts at the bacteria bank known as school. After a long summer in dormancy, hiding out in their hosts building strength they’re ready to pounce. Ready to make all their victims miserable.
Last week was Jacob’s turn for trouble. With a double ear infection, pink eye in both eyes and a sinus infection, it took three antibiotics to knock that back. Lately, I’ve been getting the brunt of their attack, although Jacob’s in round two as well.
Don’t think you’re immune just because you don’t have any children of your own in school. Take my family. Daycare, although the kids are together all summer, is just as bad as school. That’s because the older siblings bring the germs home to the little ones who take it to daycare. They give it to Jacob who so lovingly shares it with me. Although Jacob gets most of the blame for spreading disease in our family, I’m not sure I can attribute the latest round to him.
With this bug, Jacob and I both got sick at the same time with the same symptoms: runny nose, fever, swollen glands, etc. Strangely, Nate had this same affliction last week. I’m guessing this nasty germ came from the Athens area instead of the usual Medford germs we’re exposed to. Between Nate’s mom (an elementary teacher) and his brother in high school, I can think of a few suspects to trace it back to.
But I’m not completely innocent either. On my visits to schools, it’s pretty easy to pick up some of the Abbotsford and Colby viruses. Occasionally my co-workers bring one in to share from Edgar, Owen, Loyal or another nearby town. Lots of paper gets circulated through the office, giving the germs a free ride through the different departments. So pretty much, on any given day, I can get exposed to diseases spanning three counties.
Which reminds me, my mother is coming to visit later this week. She’s a school bus driver in a district that sits in the corner of four other counties. Not to mention her four kids that transmit germs. That brings a whole new breed of southern Wisconsin disease in. I was thinking of going to World Dairy Expo in Madison Saturday, but now I think I’d be better off hanging out here. That’s thousands of people mixing germs from almost all the states and several foreign countries. It all makes you really want to leave home, doesn’t it?
But here is some comforting information. With modern advances in newspaper printing, it is nearly impossible for human hands to touch the inside pages of a newspaper. That means if you do decide to hole up this winter and hide from all the germs, you can still read my paper without worry.
Last week was Jacob’s turn for trouble. With a double ear infection, pink eye in both eyes and a sinus infection, it took three antibiotics to knock that back. Lately, I’ve been getting the brunt of their attack, although Jacob’s in round two as well.
Don’t think you’re immune just because you don’t have any children of your own in school. Take my family. Daycare, although the kids are together all summer, is just as bad as school. That’s because the older siblings bring the germs home to the little ones who take it to daycare. They give it to Jacob who so lovingly shares it with me. Although Jacob gets most of the blame for spreading disease in our family, I’m not sure I can attribute the latest round to him.
With this bug, Jacob and I both got sick at the same time with the same symptoms: runny nose, fever, swollen glands, etc. Strangely, Nate had this same affliction last week. I’m guessing this nasty germ came from the Athens area instead of the usual Medford germs we’re exposed to. Between Nate’s mom (an elementary teacher) and his brother in high school, I can think of a few suspects to trace it back to.
But I’m not completely innocent either. On my visits to schools, it’s pretty easy to pick up some of the Abbotsford and Colby viruses. Occasionally my co-workers bring one in to share from Edgar, Owen, Loyal or another nearby town. Lots of paper gets circulated through the office, giving the germs a free ride through the different departments. So pretty much, on any given day, I can get exposed to diseases spanning three counties.
Which reminds me, my mother is coming to visit later this week. She’s a school bus driver in a district that sits in the corner of four other counties. Not to mention her four kids that transmit germs. That brings a whole new breed of southern Wisconsin disease in. I was thinking of going to World Dairy Expo in Madison Saturday, but now I think I’d be better off hanging out here. That’s thousands of people mixing germs from almost all the states and several foreign countries. It all makes you really want to leave home, doesn’t it?
But here is some comforting information. With modern advances in newspaper printing, it is nearly impossible for human hands to touch the inside pages of a newspaper. That means if you do decide to hole up this winter and hide from all the germs, you can still read my paper without worry.
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